Category: Blog

Angelic Warfare

The following is a selection from David’s book Protecting Your Purity: Help from St. Thomas Aquinas and the Angelic Warfare Confraternity (New Hope Publications, 2009) and is used by permission. You can purchase the book here.

In the Arctic tundra of North America and Europe lives a short-tailed weasel with snow-white

fur called the ermine. Supposedly, it takes great pride in its pure coat, and hunters take advantage of this. Rather than setting traps, the hunters find the ermine’s home and put garbage around the entrance to it. Then they send out the dogs. In an attempt to escape, the ermine dashes for the safety of his home. However, when he finds the entrance covered in filth, he refuses to enter because doing so would soil his pure white fur. Instead, the ermine turns around to face his certain doom.

You could say that the ermine has the attitude: “Give me purity or give me death!” However, most of us share the attitude of St. Augustine, who before his conversion would pray, “Give me purity…but not yet!” We say we want to be pure, but we often don’t want to make the necessary lifestyle changes to protect our purity. Perhaps this is because we have grown quite attached to our lifestyle — we like it; it’s comfortable; it’s familiar — and we’re just plain terrified of change. Perhaps it’s because we think a life of purity is simply impossible, having been discouraged by so many failed attempts in the past. Whatever the case, we tend to give up very quickly on the idea. Yet, by giving up we expose the truth that we never really made purity a priority. If we really desire to live a sexually pure life, then we will have a firm resolve to do whatever it takes and seek whatever help is available to foster and sustain such a life.

The Angelic Warfare Confraternity provides just the kind of help we need to protect our purity! The graces that flow from membership in this official association of the Dominican Order are truly out of this world! This is due to the prayers and protection of St. Thomas Aquinas, the “Angelic Doctor,” and the constant help of Mary, the “Queen of Virgins,” associated with the confraternity… 

Before we delve into how St. Thomas Aquinas and the Angelic Warfare Confraternity can help us to protect our purity, however, we need to put first things first. What exactly is a sexually pure life? It’s a life of chastity…. Chastity, simply put, means living according to God’s plan for love and sex. So chastity should be seen as a virtue for everyone — whether a single person, a priest or religious, or a married person… Every Christian is called by virtue of his or her baptism to live God’s plan for love and sex!

This is where St. Thomas comes in. Thomas came from a very wealthy and politically-connected family, but to be honest he really didn’t want to have anything to do with the lifestyle that came along with that… One day when Thomas was in his mid-teens he did something unthinkable (at least to his family): He joined a new religious order of poor beggars called the Order of Preachers (the Dominicans). Let’s just say his family was less than thrilled. They didn’t mind so much Thomas becoming a priest; they just preferred that he would be a prestigious churchman with a lot of power and political clout. For this reason, Thomas’ family constantly tried to persuade him to abandon the idea of being a Dominican. Yet, Thomas’ resolve only grew and grew — he was convinced that this was God’s will for him. In an attempt to get Thomas away from his family, the Dominicans arranged to have him leave the country for his formation. However, on the way his own brothers (at the prompting of their mother) kidnapped him and dragged him away, throwing him into the prison tower of his family’s castle. Thomas was still a teenager at the time. During Thomas’ time in captivity his family bombarded him with threats and bribes to get him to give up on the idea of being a Dominican, yet every attempt failed miserably. Then Thomas’ brothers contrived a sinister plot. They would destroy Thomas’ purity, for surely if he committed a mortal sin and broke his vow of chastity, then he would feel himself unworthy and leave the Dominicans. So, Thomas’ brothers went into town and hired a prostitute to come to the tower to seduce Thomas. The woman, dressed provocatively, entered the cell and began to approach him. When Thomas caught sight of her, he immediately knew her intentions. Then St. Thomas did something that stunned everyone: This humble, gentle, mild, quiet “ox” of a man grabbed a torch from the fire in his cell and began to chase the prostitute away, all the while shouting at the top of his lungs like a wild man! The woman, terrified, ran to the door of the cell and banged on it frantically, crying to be released. The brothers, shocked by the commotion, ran to the cell and let the woman out. Then Thomas, shaken by this temptation and attack on his purity, fell to his knees before a crucifix and begged God to give him the strength to remain chaste. At that very moment, two angels appeared to Thomas and girded his waist with a cord, saying, “On God’s behalf, we clothe you with the cord of chastity, a cord which no attack will ever destroy.” St. Thomas himself testified that after this experience he was never again tempted to sin against the virtue of chastity! He also believed that his ability to understand and penetrate the truths of the Faith was a direct consequence of his purity, for Christ Himself had said, “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God” (Matthew 5:8)…

The Angelic Warfare Confraternity is an official association of the Dominican Order, dedicated to the preservation of chastity and the pursuit of truth under the patronage of St. Thomas Aquinas. It finds its inspiration in St. Thomas’ victory in his battle against sexual temptation as a teenager in the prison tower, and his being girded by the angels with the cord of chastity. Though no one is quite sure when the custom of wearing a cord in honor of St. Thomas and invoking his intercession to practice chastity began, it was a popular devotion even before any official local confraternities were founded in the 15th and 16th centuries. Pope Benedict XII made the Angelic Warfare Confraternity an official apostolic fraternity in 1727. Eight popes have recommended it, and popular saints and blesseds, such as St. Aloysius Gonzaga, Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati, Blessed Columba Rieti and Blessed Stephana Quinzan (who actively promoted the devotion among women), were among its members. The devotion has begun to spark interest again, especially among young people, in part because St. Thomas was a teenager himself when he resisted the attack on his chastity, and in part due to the unique challenges of our modern culture which is so steeped in sexual immorality and is generally contemptuous of God’s eternal law and the virtue of chastity. Indeed, as Satan sought to destroy Thomas’ purity through the plot of his brothers, so even today Satan wishes to destroy our purity through the plots of those who spread lies and deceptions about God’s plan for love and sex — whether it be through the media, through the entertainment industry, through the schools and universities, or through the bad example of others. When I take a look at our world, it seems to me that we need the Angelic Warfare Confraternity more than ever!

To learn more about the Angelic Warfare Confraternity and how to become a member, click here. Also, listen to next Reason for Hope podcast being released on May 24: Angels, Demons, and Spiritual Warfare, featuring Fr. James Dominic Brent, O.P., Promoter of the Angelic Warfare Confraternity for the Dominican Province of St. Joseph. 

David C. Hajduk, Ph.D. has over thirty years of experience in religious education and pastoral ministry, including youth, family life, and pro-life ministries. He has been a high school Theology teacher since 1993 and an Adjunct Professor of Moral Theology since 2008. David did his doctoral work on the thought of St. John Paul II. In 2019, he became the Director of Theology for Array of Hope. David is responsible for reviewing and creating program content, writing blogs, giving talks, and co-producing Array of Hope’s Reason for Hope podcast. David is an acclaimed and versatile speaker, specializing in topics related to God’s plan for life and love. His book, God’s Plan for You: Life, Love, Marriage & Sex (Pauline Books & Media, 2006, 2018), a book for teens on St. John Paul II’s Theology of the Body, received the Catholic Press Association of the United States & Canada Book Award in 2007. David is also a member of the Angelic Warfare Confraternity, a supernatural fellowship of men and women dedicated to pursuing and promoting chastity under the powerful patronage of St. Thomas Aquinas and the Blessed Virgin Mary. David and his wife, Shannon, have 11 children and homeschool.

On Faith and Doubt

“You believe because you can see me. Blessed are those who have not seen and yet believe.” – John 20:29

In his thoughtful reflection on the Faith, Introduction to Christianity, Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger (Pope Benedict XVI) recalls a story told by the great Jewish philosopher Martin Buber regarding a certain “learned man and adherent of the Enlightenment” and a Rabbi.  The scholar went to the Rabbi with the intention of shattering his old-fashioned proofs for the truth of his faith. When he entered the Rabbi’s room, he found him pacing back and forth, with a book in his hand, consumed in thought. The rabbi had not even seemed to notice his visitor. Then suddenly he stopped, looked at him, and said, “But perhaps it is true after all.”

Of course, this “perhaps” is necessarily accompanied by a “perhaps not.” And this sparks a question: is doubt the enemy of faith or a necessary component of it? Well, that depends upon the kind of doubt you mean. There are three kinds of doubt: methodological doubt, skeptical doubt, and existential doubt.

Methodological doubt is doubt in matters of empirical inquiry or logical deduction. It is doubt about facts or conclusions. This kind of doubt is fixated on attaining absolute certainty and thus engenders positivistic thinking – a materialistic worldview that states if something cannot be empirically verified, then it isn’t true. This likely was the doubt of the “adherent of the Enlightenment” in the story. He was a rationalist.

Skeptical doubt is a particular attitude towards others and towards reality. It will not believe others or their claims because they can deceive or be deceived. One can also detect in the skeptic a certain lack of backbone under the guise of intellectual superiority. Perhaps the real motivation of the skeptic is that he or she is unwilling to land anywhere, for that would mean standing for something.

Neither methodological doubt nor skeptical doubt are compatible with faith. I think the Apostle Thomas was guilty of both. He needed to “see” – to have empirical proof, absolute certainty: “Unless I see in his hands the print of the nails, and place my finger in the mark of the nails, and place my hand in his side, I will not believe” (John 20:25). And yet, he also seems to have had an attitude of skepticism. Upon the death of Lazarus, when Jesus says, “let us go to him,” Thomas cynically retorts, “Let us also go that we may die with him.” Thomas fears that the Jewish leaders will kill Jesus (and them) if Jesus returns to Bethany. This exposes his doubt in both Jesus’ true mission and promise of eternal life. It also reveals his skepticism about Jesus’ implied plan to raise Lazarus from the dead (see John 11:4, 15). These two types of “doubt” are not really doubt at all. They are better described as “disbelief.”

Yet, along with methodological doubt and skeptical doubt, there is existential doubt. Existential doubt is the “perhaps not” mentioned above. And it is in the face of this kind of doubt, this “unknowing within knowing,” that one must take a stand.  Faith means taking a stand. It means saying, “This is where I stand.”  It is our will saying, “Amen” (“It is so”), while our intellect, seeking absolute certainty as it does, remains dissatisfied. Faith makes us certain. It “gives substance to our hopes” and “convinces us of things we cannot see” (Heb. 11:1). And when you choose where you stand, where you stand gives you your perspective. You “look” from that position. And you live from that position. The definition of theology as “faith seeking understanding” assumes this decision to take a stand. As Cardinal Ratzinger states, “understanding only reveals itself in standing, not apart from it.” St. Thomas Aquinas puts it this way: faith “cleaves firmly to one side” (Summa Theologiae, Secunda Secundae, Ques. 2, Art. 1).

One of lures of agnosticism – of saying “I do not know if God exists or, if He does, whether this or that religion is the true one” – is that you never have to take a stand or pick a side. For most, agnosticism is a lazy position and lacks sincerity. It feigns intellectual humility, while masking the deeper truth that we want to “have our cake and eat it too.” We cannot necessarily deny God’s existence, nor do we want to for the existential void that would bring. Yet, we do not want to take a stand – not for fear of being wrong, but because of the moral demands it would place on our lives. It is a cowardly position to take. Faith takes courage.

So, existential doubt, a certain “unknowing,” is part and parcel of faith. I believe this can be illumined by recalling that faith is related to the personal as a constitutive element of any relationship. It is the unknown in relationships that give them their real value. When I married my wife, did I know her? I would have said that I did. I believe I did. I certainly believed I had enough knowledge of Shannon to commit my life to her. But the choice to say “I do” was an act of faith. I hadn’t solved the equation. I mean, there was more that I didn’t know about Shannon than I actually knew about her. This is because the human person is a mystery.  We are even mysteries to ourselves. Shannon and I would both say that we have come to know ourselves as much as we have come to know one another in the past quarter century plus. Could you imagine how empty our choice, our election of one another would have been if we had absolute certainty? One could say that the “personal” would be eliminated from personal relationships.  Then, we would not be choosing a person, but a list of qualities. Love wouldn’t be a mystery, but a calculus. “Blessed are those who have not seen and yet believe” (John 20:29).

Of course, there is some “knowing” – we stand where we stand because of this or that. Since faith “cleaves firmly to one side,” St. Thomas continues, “belief has something in common with science and understanding.” Faith “does not attain the perfection of clear sight,” but we are “induced to believe” for reasons (St. Thomas mentions, as one example, that such beliefs have been confirmed by miracles). Faith, properly understood, is “thinking with assent.” Thus, I would resist the popular description of faith as being a blind leap. I prefer to call faith “a choice to step into the dark.” We know things that inform (or experience things that inspire) our choice to believe, but faith is only faith because of the “unknowing.” Without “doubt,” there is no faith. The light of faith assumes the darkness into which it shines. 

Yet, on some level, we are all afraid of the dark. This is why the choice to step into it, takes courage. Again, faith takes courage. Love (which faith makes possible) takes courage. Life takes courage.

May the Easter greeting, “He is risen indeed!” give us this courage!

Perhaps, it is true after all.

David C. Hajduk, Ph.D. has over thirty years of experience in religious education and pastoral ministry, including youth, family life, and pro-life ministries. He has been a high school Theology teacher since 1993 and an Adjunct Professor of Moral Theology since 2008. David did his doctoral work on the thought of St. John Paul II. In 2019, he became the Director of Theology for Array of Hope. David is responsible for reviewing and creating program content, writing blogs, giving talks, and co-producing Array of Hope’s Reason for Hope podcast. David is an acclaimed and versatile speaker, specializing in topics related to God’s plan for life and love. His book, God’s Plan for You: Life, Love, Marriage & Sex (Pauline Books & Media, 2006, 2018), a book for teens on St. John Paul II’s Theology of the Body, received the Catholic Press Association of the United States & Canada Book Award in 2007. David is also a member of the Angelic Warfare Confraternity, a supernatural fellowship of men and women dedicated to pursuing and promoting chastity under the powerful patronage of St. Thomas Aquinas and the Blessed Virgin Mary. David and his wife, Shannon, have 11 children and homeschool.

The Empty Tomb

As I sit here contemplating the joyousness of this Easter season, I find myself looking to when Mary Magdalene and Mary the Mother of James found Jesus’ empty tomb only to be greeted by an angel. What an incredible gift – experiencing the awe and understanding that our Lord keeps His promises. But I can’t help but think of the moments right before. The time in which these faithful women journeyed in the cool dawn air to care for the body of our God. Walking in near darkness, most likely praying as they were about to enter into His presence, and still mourning the loss of someone they continued to love very much. 

How strange those minutes must have been. Trying to prepare their hearts that felt such aching and an emptiness which could only be filled by the person of Christ Jesus.

I think sometimes I can live there, in those ‘before’ moments. As if I’m walking in the dark, preparing for the worst, while in reality the Lord of all already lives – that Love Himself has come back for me. Instead of living in the season of rejoicing in my Risen Savior, I create a perpetual desert, thinking one day I can make myself deserving to be in the midst of Jesus.

Lent is beautiful and prepares our hearts for Christ’s Resurrection, but it’s important to remember that it ends so Easter can begin, and that the dawn breaks so we might see the empty tomb. In those moments leading up to finding the angel and hearing his message, both Marys knew God’s promises, and that He was the only one who could somehow make them happen. And once they ran and found Him, all they could do was persevere in trusting Him to go tell the other disciples. 

It’s been a difficult year for many of us. Whether it’s from the circumstances we share, or personal struggles that seem to envelop us even further. So, it may be hard to see the stone rolled back – but the Lord of all lives. The Lord who is stronger than our sin, or the ways in which we feel inadequate. The Lord of our joys and peace. The Lord who sings rejoicing each time we come back to Him. He died and resurrected so that we might know that we are loved with a love that goes to the very end.

Easter is not simply a day. Jesus didn’t endure his Passion so we could celebrate for 24 hours just to go back to the desert, but it’s an entire season contemplating His triumph over death so that we could spend eternity with Him. 

So, I invite you to gaze upon the empty tomb, and take heart.

If you feel overwhelmed by your struggles, exhausted by the lies of the world, or torn down by the weight of sin, step into the light of Jesus’ everlasting victory, and find rest in His Resurrection. 

Alleluia, Alleluia! The tomb is empty. He Is Risen.

*If you would like to pray with the image that inspired this blog you can find it here: The Empty Tomb by Mikhail Nesterov

Alexandra Cernick graduated with a degree in creative writing from Fairleigh Dickinson University, after which she spent two years serving as a FOCUS missionary. She has a deep love for family, and a strong passion for sharing Christ and His Church through beauty. She is a frequent contributor to Behold, a program with the goal of leading women to see their innate dignity through praying visio divina.

Alex is a writer, artist, coffee drinker, maker of Mexican food, lover of the Saints, and a big fan of the Oxford comma. She is a firm believer that “beauty will save the world”, and hopes to play a small part in whatever ways God calls her to.

In Season and Out of Season

In the thirteenth chapter of the Gospel of Luke, Jesus uses shocking examples to emphasize the urgency of repentance. Jesus’ audience probably could not have imagined a worse “end” than being brutally and publicly executed by a pagan occupying force and your blood being used to commit a horrible sacrilege. And yet Jesus, after indicating that the Galileans who had suffered such a fate couldn’t be considered worse sinners than their countrymen, goes on to say, “I tell you, if you do not repent, you will perish as they did!” What is the implication here? All sinners are deserving of such punishment. And we are all sinners. Jesus is thus making clear that our repentance cannot be delayed. He continues this message by offering the parable of the fig tree. We often highlight God’s patience and mercy by this parable, but it is striking that though the fruitless fig tree is given another year (a year of special attention and care, a last ditch, extreme and persistent effort to save it), it will be cut down at the end of that year if it does not bear fruit. It seems that there will be a moment when the time of mercy is over, and what is left is judgment. 

So why such urgency? Because immortal souls are at stake. But do we even believe this any longer in a world that tells everyone that they should just accept themselves because they are perfect just as they are? In a world where everyone is told to live as they please, as long as they aren’t “hurting anyone,” whatever that means? In a Church where no one goes to Confession, and everyone goes to Communion, and everyone in the world is going to heaven? In this kind of world, how can any of us believe that there is an urgency to repent? To turn to God? To reform our lives?  

It is God’s will that all men and women be saved and come to the knowledge of the truth (1 Tim 2:4). Precisely how will they obtain such knowledge?  Paul exhorts Timothy: “Preach the word, be urgent in season and out of season, convince, rebuke, and exhort, be unfailing in patience and in teaching” (2 Tim 4:2). 

Where are so many being lost today? Our Lady told St. Jacinta Marto (one of the Fatima visionaries) that “The sins which cause most souls to go to hell are the sins of the flesh” (remember that Our Lady showed the three children a terrifying vision of hell and the souls suffering there, which should give anyone pause who believes that hell doesn’t exist or is empty). One could say these sins of the flesh cause whole societies to plummet into the abyss. Look at how far our own has fallen in recent years. So far that young children are being encouraged in transgenderism and it’s called “gender affirming.” So far that polyamory is on the rise and being protected in law (though this prediction was summarily dismissed by advocates of same-sex “marriage” back at the time of Obergefell v. Hodges). So far that politicians are supporting infanticide over and above unrestricted abortion. So far that almost every sexual perversion is normalized and deemed “sex positive,” as pornography grows more prevalent, more degrading and violent towards women, and more interwoven with sex trafficking.

And if you speak up against any of this and stand up for God’s plan for sex or preach the Gospel of Life, you may just become a martyr, even if a white one (that is, one without the shedding of blood). You might get “cancelled,” fired, fined, or worse. And your persecutors may very well come from people within the Body of Christ who think that by doing so they are serving God (John 16:2). It is definitely “out of season.”

But be not afraid! Today is the feast of the Annunciation, when the angel Gabriel appeared to Mary and asked her to be the mother of the Son of God. It is the day that Jesus was virginally conceived in Mary’s womb. It is also the day in 1995 that St. John Paul II released his powerful encyclical Evangelium Vitae (The Gospel of Life), a work that had a transformative impact on my wife and me. Here is what John Paul II wrote in that encyclical to encourage us. He refers to St. Paul’s exhortation to Timothy:

“Faced with so many opposing points of view, and a widespread rejection of sound doctrine concerning human life, we can feel that Paul’s entreaty to Timothy is also addressed to us: ‘Preach the word, be urgent in season and out of season, convince, rebuke, and exhort, be unfailing in patience and in teaching’ (2 Tim 4:2)… In the proclamation of this Gospel [of Life], we must not fear hostility or unpopularity, and we must refuse any compromise or ambiguity which might conform us to the world’s way of thinking (cf. Rom 12:2). We must be in the world but not of the world (cf. Jn 15:19; 17:16), drawing our strength from Christ, who by his Death and Resurrection has overcome the world (cf. Jn 16:33)” (The Gospel of Life, no. 82).

Although St. John Paul II was writing about life issues, he could well have been writing about sound doctrine regarding the meaning of masculinity and femininity, sex, and marriage. (And, for the record, he did write about that… a lot!)

I believe two saints for our time are St. John the Baptist and Elijah the Prophet. Why did John lose his head? Not by witnessing to Christ directly, but by witnessing to the Truth (and thus to Christ who is The Truth). Specifically, by witnessing to the Truth about sex and marriage. He opened his mouth about an unlawful marriage and adultery, and this unleashed the wrath of Herodias, who took advantage of the vanity and drunken lust of Herod (enflamed by her own daughter’s erotic dance). This is actually one of the reasons why John is the new Elijah. Elijah too preached against the unlawful marriage of Ahab and Jezebel, and he spent his days on the run from the diabolical queen, and eventually grew so weary he even begged God to take his life. 

It is easy to grow weary. But again, be not afraid! Be urgent in season and out of season. Immortal souls are at stake. And Christ wants us to win those souls for Him!

David C. Hajduk, Ph.D. has over thirty years of experience in religious education and pastoral ministry, including youth, family life, and pro-life ministries. He has been a high school Theology teacher since 1993 and an Adjunct Professor of Moral Theology since 2008. David did his doctoral work on the thought of St. John Paul II. In 2019, he became the Director of Theology for Array of Hope. David is responsible for reviewing and creating program content, writing blogs, giving talks, and co-producing Array of Hope’s Reason for Hope podcast. David is an acclaimed and versatile speaker, specializing in topics related to God’s plan for life and love. His book, God’s Plan for You: Life, Love, Marriage & Sex (Pauline Books & Media, 2006, 2018), a book for teens on St. John Paul II’s Theology of the Body, received the Catholic Press Association of the United States & Canada Book Award in 2007. David is also a member of the Angelic Warfare Confraternity, a supernatural fellowship of men and women dedicated to pursuing and promoting chastity under the powerful patronage of St. Thomas Aquinas and the Blessed Virgin Mary. David and his wife, Shannon, have 11 children and homeschool.

The Journey Ahead

We have just entered the holy season of Lent. Lent is a journey to Easter, but it is a journey to Easter through the cross. Lent reminds us that the road to Heaven passes through Calvary. There is no other way. There are no “cross-less Christians.” Jesus Himself said, “Whosoever doth not carry his cross and come after me, cannot be my disciple” (Luke 14:27). 

Our whole earthly life is a journey to Heaven, which is our Homeland. This explains that feeling of what could be called “homesickness” we all experience. That feeling of restlessness and unease we have with our current “living arrangements.” A feeling as if we do not quite belong. 

If Heaven is our final destination, the world and indeed no creature in it can never be our “end.” We know this all too well. Has any created thing ever really satisfied you? Or have you been left wanting more? Have you found not the fulfillment of a need, but rather simply an increase in that need? We spend most of our energy trying to satiate a thirst that simply cannot be satiated, save by the One who thirsts for our souls from the cross (John 19:28). This world cannot satisfy because we were made for another. This is not our home. As we pray in the O Salutaris Hostia before we adore the Blessed Sacrament: Oh, grant us endless length of days, in our true native land with Thee.

A word that sums up what our attitude should be as we live “en route” is “sojourn.” A sojourner is one who “spends the day” – who only visits for a brief time, a temporary stay. Listen to these words from the first letter of St. Peter: “Beloved, I exhort [you], as strangers and sojourners, to abstain from fleshly lusts, which war against the soul” (1 Peter 2:11). St. Peter makes clear that we are strangers to this world – aliens living not in our own country. We are sojourners – here for a short time, temporarily, just passing through. It is not our home. In fact, another translation of the word translated here as “sojourner” is “pilgrim.” Pilgrims (those on the way to a Holy Place) usually slept in tents.  This image for our earthly life is profound – we live in tents on pilgrimage to a Holy Place. St. Paul refers to this world as a tent in his second letter to the Corinthians: “Once this earthly tent-dwelling of ours has come to an end, God, we are sure, has a solid building waiting for us, a dwelling not made with hands, that will last eternally in Heaven” (2 Corinthians 5:1).

So what should our lesson be? We should not be, or get, too comfortable. This earthly life is a temporary stop. We are merely “spending the day.” St. Paul makes this abundantly clear when he exhorts us, “Do not be conformed to this world” (Romans 12:12) or when He reminds us that, “Our conversation is in heaven, from whence we also look for the Savior, our Lord Jesus Christ” (Philippians 3:20). The word “conversation” found there is interesting. Conversatio is a difficult to translate Latin word, the most precise meaning of which is “way of life.” So, St. Paul is telling us that we ought to get our “way of life” from heaven, not from earth. We really should be living more like angels than animals, more in the spiritual than in the carnal. If we go beyond the Latin conversatio to the Greek word politeuma we find a word that means state or commonwealth. It was the word used to refer to Roman citizenship. There we see it again – our citizenship is in heaven, not earth. We are aliens here.

We need to live as if in tents. We need to live as people “on the move.” As God commands the Israelites in Egypt: “This is how you are to eat it: with your loins girt, sandals on your feet and your staff in hand, you will eat it in a hurry. It is the Lord’s Passover” (Exodus 12:11). We need to learn to live in such a way that we can leave everything behind. As Jesus says, “He that is on the housetop, let him not come down to take anything out of his house, and he that is in the field, let him not go back to take his coat” (Luke 17:31). Jesus exhorts us to store up our treasures in heaven and not on earth (cf. Matthew 6:19-21). We need to “hold on loosely” to the things of this world and even to the people we love. Some of Jesus’ most challenging words have to do with this. “He that loveth father or mother more than me, is not worthy of me; and he that loveth son or daughter more than me, is not worthy of me. And he that taketh not up his cross, and followeth me, is not worthy of me” (Matthew 10:37-38). Or in another place: “If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple” (Luke 14:26). And in yet another: “And every one who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or lands, for my name’s sake, will receive a hundredfold, and inherit eternal life” (Matthew 19:29). In short, we need to live “detached” from the earthly and from all created things. 

St. John of the Cross calls this way “Nada” – the Spanish word for “nothing.” This rugged path of “nothing” is the only road which leads to the summit of perfection. It is the one that not only rejects all disordered attachments to or inordinate use of the goods of earth, but even counts all earthly goods as “nothing.” St. Paul is the one who stated, “I count all things to be but loss for the excellent knowledge of Jesus Christ my Lord; for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but as dung, that I may gain Christ” (Philippians 3:8). He counted them as “dung” – let that sink in a moment. St. John of the Cross wrote: “In order to enjoy, know, possess, and be everything, desire to enjoy, know, possess and be nothing” (Ascent of Mount Carmel, Book I, Ch. 13, v. 11). The paradoxical truth is that the more we live detached, the more we actually enjoy our stay here on earth. It’s only when we seek to make a permanent abode that life becomes a movement from anxiety to anxiety. This has become more and more evident in our increasingly secular culture. It would seem that, for most, the world has become “all in all.”

So how do we break with the world? How do we live this detachment, this “Nada”? How do we, as St. Paul did, “in every circumstance and in all things learn the secret of being well fed and of going hungry, of living in abundance and of being in need” (Philippians 4:12)? How can we not be of the world while we are in it? How do we attain what St. Ignatius of Loyola called a “holy indifference” to all creatures and circumstances?

St. Peter, when he beseeched us as strangers and sojourners, exhorted us “to refrain from carnal desires.” St. Paul, when he discussed how our “way of life” is found in heaven laments those who have “become enemies of the cross of Christ, whose end is destruction, whose God is their belly, and whose glory is in their shame, who mind earthly things” (Philippians 3:19).  St. Paul warns us: “If you live a life of nature, you are marked out for death; if you mortify the ways of nature through the power of the Spirit, you will have life” (Romans 8:13) and exhorts us: “Mind the things that are above, not the things that are upon the earth… You must [put to death] those passions in you which belong to earth” (Colossians 3:2). This earthly pilgrimage should be marked by self-denial, as Jesus said to all, “If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me” (Luke 9:23). 

And so, we fast. We pray. We give alms. We renounce the world, and hold on loosely to the things of it.  We take up the cross.

This is journey ahead. This is the road to Heaven. There is no other way. 

And Lent is here to remind us.

David Hajduk received his Ph.D. in Theology from Maryvale Institute in Birmingham, England, and wrote his dissertation on the thought of St. John Paul II. He is a teacher, speaker, pastoral minister, and award-winning author of God’s Plan for You: Life, Love, Marriage and Sex (Pauline Books & Media, 2006, 2018), a book for teens on the Theology of the Body. David is the Director of Theology for Array of Hope.

A Kiss is Just a Kiss?

“But Jesus said to him, ‘Judas, would you betray the Son of man with a kiss?’” – Lk. 22:48

With the barrage of Valentine’s Day merchandise hitting the shelves, and considering our current “hook up” culture, it seems relevant and reasonable to ask the question: “Does a kiss mean anything anymore?”

Yet, this is just one small example highlighting a more fundamental division in our culture. It is a fundamental division over the answer to a more fundamental question: “Do the world and the things in it have an objective meaning and purpose, or is all meaning subjectively assigned and thus merely relative?” In short, does anything mean anything?

I have come to believe, however, that these questions ultimately lead to the ultimate question, to the question of all questions, to the question of The Ultimate: Is there a Creator or not? 

If there is a Creator Who is an Intelligence, then the world is intelligible. If there is a Creator Who is Rational Being, then things are created for a reason, for an end, and have intrinsic meaning. Simply put, if there is no God, then there is no meaning. No real meaning anyway; nothing upon which you can hang your hat (or bet your life). All there would be is the meaning that we make for ourselves. Faced with the “existential vacuum” of a meaningless universe, we become the self-proclaimed masters of the meanings of things (at least for us). And we dub it “freedom.” Consider this quote from Justice Anthony Kennedy from the 1992 Supreme Court abortion case, Casey v. Planned Parenthood:  “At the heart of liberty is the right to define one’s own concept of existence, of meaning, of the universe, and of the mystery of human life.” Seems to me yet another vain attempt to “be like God” (Gen. 3:5) and to “make a name for ourselves” (Gen. 11:4).

If all rational beings act for an end, as Aristotle posited and appears manifestly true, then certainly the One Who is Reason Itself, because He is the Logos, would do so. As Pope Benedict XVI clarified, “Logos means both reason and word – a reason that is creative and capable of self-communication, precisely as reason” (The Regensburg Lecture, no. 17).  If everything that exists began as an idea in the mind of God, then everything has been “creatively thought.” St. Thomas Aquinas, whose feast day we celebrate on January 28, wrote that the divine ideas are “exemplar forms existing in the divine mind” and “what is real is called true in so far as it realizes that toward which it is ordained in the mind of God” (Disputed Questions on Truth, I, 2). Thomas considers final cause as the “first” among causes because things are only moved by an agent and “the agent only moves by intending an end” (Summa Theologiae, I-II, 1, 2). He uses the term “nature” to refer to “the essence of a thing as directed to its specific operation” (On Being and Essence, I, 4). In summary, every created thing has a “nature” and a characteristic activity given by God that is directed towards some end or purpose. In fact, a thing’s “nature” is revealed in and through this characteristic activity and end.

All of this to say what? If there is a God, then the world and the things in it have an objective meaning assigned by the One who thought of them. Then a kiss is not “just a kiss” – a kiss has meaning apart from whatever we might mean by it. 

St. John Paul II said, “If the human being… gives to his behavior a meaning in conformity with the fundamental truth of the language of the body, then he too ‘is in the truth.’ In the opposite case, he commits lies and falsifies the language of the body” (Theology of the Body, 106:3). It seems that this is what Jesus was getting at with his rhetorical question to Judas. Judas was not only betraying the Son of man, but the meaning of a kiss.

It may well be that all the confusion in our culture on issues of sex and sexuality, gender and generation, and the definition of life, marriage and family comes down to a question of meaning. 

And that ultimately comes down to the question of God.

David Hajduk received his Ph.D. in Theology from Maryvale Institute in Birmingham, England, and wrote his dissertation on the thought of St. John Paul II. He is a teacher, speaker, pastoral minister, and award-winning author of God’s Plan for You: Life, Love, Marriage and Sex (Pauline Books & Media, 2006, 2018), a book for teens on the Theology of the Body. David is the Director of Theology for Array of Hope.

The Babe in the Manger

“And she shall bring forth a son:  and thou shalt call his name JESUS. For he shall save his people from their sins.” – Matthew 1: 21

“Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.” – The Jesus Prayer

A simple prayer of only one verse, The Jesus Prayer, likely has its origin in the Desert Fathers of the 3rd and 4th centuries. It is highly esteemed and recommended in the Eastern Orthodox Church, and particularly connected with the spiritual teaching found in the Philokalia and with the contemplative Hesychastic tradition. It is the subject of the famous 19th century Russian work entitled The Way of the Pilgrim, which recounts the narrator’s travels attempting to discover how to “pray without ceasing.” Though simple and short, this prayer is deeply rooted in the Scriptures, particularly the parable of the Pharisee and the Tax Collector found in Luke’s Gospel (Luke 18:9-14). We can also discover within it much of what the angel declares to Mary, to Joseph, and to the shepherds about the identity of the Babe to be born in the manger in Bethlehem. In fact, it could be said that The Jesus Prayer sums up just about everything we believe about Jesus. At Christmas time, when we celebrate the birth of the One who will “save his people from their sins,” Whose very name declares His mission, it is good to reflect on what we believe about this Babe lying in the manger

Lord – The first word of the prayer is “Lord.” The shepherds were told that the child was Christ “the Lord” (Luke 2:11). We often quickly pass by this title when referring to Jesus, as if it is a part of His name. But in the New Testament world, the word “Lord” referred to ownership. The Lord owned the property worked by the servants, and perhaps even owned the servants. There was a complete submission of the servant to the will of the “Lord” or “Master.” The implication is that when we say, “Jesus is Lord” we mean that we belong to Him, that He “owns” us, that all we possess is really His and from Him, and that we should will or want nothing but what He wills and wants. We acknowledge that we are not our own, but have been bought at a great price (cf. 1 Corinth. 6:19-20).

Jesus – The name Jesus, the Greek form of the Hebrew Yeshua, literally means “Savior” or “Yahweh saves.” This was the name given by the angel to Mary and to Joseph.   To Joseph, the angel states the reason for the child’s name: “For he shall save his people from their sins” (Matt. 1:21). When the angel appears to the shepherds he declares, “This day is born for you a Savior” (Luke 2: 2:11). The name Jesus emphasizes that He came into the world to save us. The word “salvation” comes from the Latin word salus, which means health, healing, or wholeness. From it we also get words like “salve,” which is an ointment you would put on a wound. When we say that Jesus saves us, it means that He heals us and makes us whole again. The sin of the “first” Adam had wounded us, broken us. Sin wounds and breaks our relationship with God, our relationships with one another, and our relationship with creation itself. It wounds our very nature, disordering our desires and inclining us to sin. And, if we are honest, we are all well aware of our own guilt here. Even our most sincere efforts at love and justice are tainted by selfishness and ulterior motives.  Although we long for wholeness, we seem incapable of setting things right, of fixing what is broken in us and in the world.  Simply put, we cannot save ourselves. It is this pitiable situation that prompted St. Paul to cry out, “Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!” (Rom. 7:24-25). Yes, only Jesus, the Last Adam (1 Corinth. 15:45), can save us; only He makes us whole again. How did He do this? By dying on the cross – by being broken and wounded Himself so that we might be made whole. And by sending us the Holy Spirit, that we might walk according to the Spirit (cf. Gal. 5:16) in newness of life (cf. Rom. 6:4) and no longer live for ourselves, but for Him (2 Corinth. 5:15). Any of us who recognize those areas in our world and in ourselves where there is brokenness, disease, and disorder should take comfort that the name Jesus means, “God heals us and makes us whole again.” This is the charity of God (cf. Rom. 5:8, 1 John 4:10, Eph. 2:4).

Christ – Literally, “the anointed one.” This title was given to the shepherds. “Christ” is a messianic title, the Greek equivalent of the Hebrew Meshiach. In the Old Testament, the “anointed ones”were priests, prophets, and kings. The Messiah to come was expected to fulfill all these roles. We see this in Jesus: He offers Himself as a sacrifice on behalf of the people, He speaks the Word of God and calls people back to the Covenant with the Father, and He is the King of Kings, Ruler of Heaven and Earth. That He was a King was announced by the angel to Mary, and later to the shepherds. It is also the King’s star that guided the wise men who, carefully following the prophecies, sought for the place of His birth (Matt. 2:1-2). As Jesus’ subjects, we profess complete loyalty to our King, and seek to extend His Kingdom in the world: “Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven” (Matt. 6:10).

Son of God – Mary was told that the child would be called the “Son of God,” because of His virginal conception and being fashioned in her womb by the overshadowing of the Holy Spirit (Luke 1:35). “Son of God” in the prayer is a proclamation of faith in Jesus’ divinity. Jesus is totally human, but also totally divine. He is the Word of God made flesh (cf. John 1:14). He is “consubstantial with the Father,” as we proclaim every Sunday Mass in the Nicene Creed (cf. John 10:30). Because Jesus is God Himself, His words and deeds have power and authority. “He alone has the words of eternal life” (John 6:68).  He is master over the wind and the waves (cf. Matt. 8:27). In Him, “we live and move and have our being” (Acts 17:28).

Have mercy on me a sinner – Here we acknowledge the sheer fact that God is the one true and living God, Creator and Lord of heaven and earth, Almighty, Eternal, Immense, Incomprehensible, Infinite in intelligence, in will, and in all perfection (cf. Dei Filius, Ch. 1, Vatican I, 1870). Since there is such a gulf between God’s nature as Creator and ours as creature, any goodness He shows us is technically a “mercy.” Our very existence – here and now – and all that fills it is totally dependent on Him. It is a “mercy.” However, in addition to being creatures, we are sinners. We disobey or disregard God and His commandments so very often. We have rebellious hearts that refuse to serve and are all too willing to acquiesce to the temptations that come from the world, the flesh, and the Devil. We are routinely forgetful, ungrateful, and self-centered. We fail to recognize those on the margins and in need – the poor, the lonely, the outcast – those with whom the Lord so fully identifies with Himself that He says, “Whatever you did not do to the least of these, you did not do to me” (Matt. 25:40). We, like the tax collector in Luke’s Gospel, should be hesitant to lift our eyes to heaven; we should cry out in repentance, begging God, in His great love, to have mercy on us. This is the kind of prayer that finds favor with God and will justify us before Him (cf. Luke 18:14). A humble and contrite heart He will not despise (Ps. 51:17).

In his penetrating book, Life of Christ, Archbishop Fulton Sheen states, “The story of every human life begins with birth and ends with death. In the Person of Christ, however, it was His death that was first and His life that was last.  The Scripture describes Him as ‘the Lamb slain as it were, from the beginning of the world.’ He was slain in intention by the first sin and rebellion against God. It was not so much that His birth cast a shadow on His Life and thus led to His death; it was rather that the Cross was first, and cast its shadow back to His birth” (p. 20). In other words, the shadow of the Cross fell upon the cradle: a cradle that was a manger, a feeding trough for animals, in Bethlehem, which means “House of Bread.” The bread that Jesus would give was His flesh for the life of the world (cf. John 6:52). It was the reason He had come. As Sheen continues, “This was ‘His Father’s business’; everything else would be incidental to it” (p. 30).

So when we celebrate the Babe born in Bethlehem that lay in a manger, let us not forget Who He is and the reason for His coming. Let us beat our breasts and cry out: “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.” Yet, at the same time, let us “fear not” – heeding the encouraging words of the angel to Mary, to Joseph, and to the shepherds – for this day is born for us a Savior, who is Christ the Lord: hope for the wayward soul and for a broken world. 

Good tidings of great joy, indeed!

David Hajduk received his Ph.D. in Theology from Maryvale Institute in Birmingham, England, and wrote his dissertation on the thought of St. John Paul II. He is a teacher, speaker, pastoral minister, and award-winning author of God’s Plan for You: Life, Love, Marriage and Sex (Pauline Books & Media, 2006, 2018), a book for teens on the Theology of the Body. David is the Director of Theology for Array of Hope.

Letting Go of Our Plans

I thought 2019 was difficult. Then what happened? We were all hit with arguably the most unpredictable, unsettling, emotionally draining year of the century… and perhaps the most life-giving year for some, myself included.

Now allow me to preface this by saying I truly cannot overlook the pain and trauma that this year has brought into so many lives. For many, 2020 was a year defined by loss in countless forms. I, too, experienced loss. I lost my job. I said goodbye to plans I had for years. Even my wedding plans seemed to be sucked down the drain before my own eyes. Yet what God gave me was far greater than anything I “lost.” I didn’t really lose — God simply replaced my expectations with what turned out to be better.

2020 kicked off, and I couldn’t wait to marry the love of my life. I had waited for so long! We had planned so many pieces of our dream wedding during our two-year engagement, and everything was falling into place… or so we thought.

“Coronavirus” suddenly stole headlines, coming out of what seemed like left field to me. It felt distant, until it no longer did. I’ll never forget the day I heard the first case had been reported in our county. Lockdowns were imminent, businesses were suddenly shutting down, and then my work indicated that we would all be working from home, effective immediately. In a matter of several weeks, conversations surrounding layoffs became frequent, and inevitable anxiety about our wedding plans rapidly grew in intensity.

I knew I needed to conquer one battle at a time, as my multitasking abilities only reach so far. So I began applying proactively for other jobs, since it became quite clear that layoffs were on the horizon at my company. Along with that, my now-husband and I began brainstorming solutions in advance to our wedding problem, which was only heightening in complexity.

The Archdiocese of Baltimore, where we had been planning on holding our wedding for two years, halted all matrimonial ceremonies due to the governor’s orders surrounding group gatherings. And of course, Baltimore’s tentative lockdown date had been extended beyond our original wedding date of June 13th. This also meant that the Circuit Court, responsible for issuing marriage licenses, was closed indefinitely. Our wedding plans seemed to suddenly be paused, and we felt cornered by sudden restrictions from every angle for reasons outside of our control.

My husband and I evaluated our priorities, diving deep into the plans we had for several years and honestly evaluating our hopes from that moment forward. We realized we just wanted to be joined together in Holy Matrimony, regardless of the circumstances. With that, we received support from the Diocese of Arlington, Virginia, where marriage ceremonies were still being held, to move our wedding across state lines.

Against what is typically traditional, we found a priest we had never met who was willing to host our gathering of eleven people (nine guests plus the happy couple) at a parish we had never attended. We became parishioners there, and somehow managed to move our wedding date forward to May 29th, following tons (and I mean tons!) of paperwork. A local family-owned ice creamery agreed to host our small reception, complete with milkshakes and sundaes, hot dogs, fries, and canned soda. We were happy. We felt peace.

Fast forward two weeks to our honeymoon. We decided to put our health in the Lord’s hands and traveled to Wyoming, where we would spend two weeks on a secluded ranch, horseback riding and enjoying the scenery with limited phone service. One morning, we headed into town for iced lattes with some of the ranch staff, and I received a phone call. My new job offer, which I had accepted after leaving my previous position, had fallen through due to COVID. I was flabbergasted, but I remember saying aloud that I trusted I would find another opportunity soon, and that I would continue to enjoy our honeymoon.

I also felt physically strange that day, and felt a strong calling to stop at the local drugstore on the way back to the ranch to pick up a pregnancy test. About one hour after I found out I had lost my job, we learned that we were expecting our first child. Joy overtook us again, during what was certainly the most confusing morning of my life. The anxiety surrounding my job had faded in the distance as we celebrated this new life within me.

Needless to say, the past few months since then have been a whirlwind. Our wedding plans were entirely different than we thought they’d be, but we knew God wanted our wedding to be exactly the way it was for a reason. I still laugh, knowing the reception fit for a king and queen my parents had planned on throwing us was replaced almost overnight with a $180 hot dog dinner… and it was perfect. Then I showed up to countless job interviews after suffering from morning sickness, only able to drink chocolate milk and eat toast on some days, and God blessed me with an amazing new career path that is even better than my previous opportunity. And my favorite part? My husband and I have gotten to know our son through heartbeat scans, ultrasounds, and belly kicks, and he will be here in just a couple of months now. Despite the challenges, time has flown, and God has been gracious.

2020 has still presented us with some unresolved challenges, but that’s okay. We are trusting in Him. And the best part is knowing how much we have to look forward to, with such beautiful and incredible blessings coming out of this confusing, baffling year. We wouldn’t have it any other way.

If all of your plans have been ruined this year and you are feeling down, rest assured that God is with you in the mess and He has not forgotten you. God has a plan and it is Good, so place your trust in Him.

Siena Michaud is a newlywed and mother-to-be, residing with her husband, German Shepherd, and tabby cat in Northern Virginia.

On Deserving

“Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I no longer deserve to be called your son.” – Luke 15:21

“Deserve.” This word automatically evokes a sense of justice. You get what you deserve: what is your right, what is coming to you. “Father, let me have the share of the estate that will come to me” (Luke 15:12).  You get what you have earned, what you have worked for. “All these years I have slaved for you and never once disobeyed any orders of yours…” (Luke 15:29).

“Deserving” is different when viewed within the paradigm of justice than within the paradigm of grace. Deserving in the paradigm of justice is dependent on what you have done, or the status you have attained. Deserving in the paradigm of grace – since grace is a completely gratuitous gift – is dependent on how the “giver” regards you, on the status he or she bestows. Perhaps, both sons in the parable suffer from the same misunderstanding. Both claim justice (later on, the younger son even believed he deserved a demotion for his sins), when, in fact, all is grace.

This misunderstanding has practical consequences.  The first consequence is that life becomes a burden. It can feel like slavery, a drudgery, as if you are trapped and held back. The younger son experiences this in his need to leave the Father’s house for “a distant country.” He couldn’t get far enough away.  The older son experiences this right at home, in the bitterness of heart exposed by his contempt for his brother.

The second consequence of this misunderstanding is emptiness and alienation. The younger son winds up hungry, the older son alone. There is no joy, no peace, no experience of authentic community when one is stuck in the paradigm of justice.  There are only the extremes of despair, because we are overcome by being unworthy and undeserving, or presumption, because we consider ourselves righteous and all-to-deserving (even as we beat our breast reciting the Confiteor).  In this paradigm, there is only judgment – either of oneself or of others.  Here one only finds a dry desert, not a life-giving stream.

The son who feels unworthy of the father’s love, the father embraces and kisses, disregarding his words of being undeserving. The son who in his self-righteousness refuses to enter into the father’s love, the father urges saying, “You are with me always, and all I have is yours” (Luke 15:31).  For the father, it has never been about deserving his love.  In truth, none of us is “deserving” of the Father’s love (see Rom. 3:23 and Eph. 2:3). And Jesus took upon Himself anything that we really deserved, and it was nailed to the cross (see Col. 2:14, 1 Pet. 2:24, Rom. 6:23).  No… all is grace, all is mercy.  And “mercy triumphs over judgment” (Jas. 2:13) for those who trust in Jesus and throw themselves into His merciful arms (see Jesus to St. Faustina, Diary, 1541). “How can we make a return to the Lord” for all the good He has done for us, the Psalmist asks (116:12). We can’t. We can only “raise the cup of salvation” (Ps. 116:13) – the cup filled with the precious blood of our Blessed Lord, shed for our sins.

Once we claim this truth and break free from the shackles of trying to be “deserving” our response becomes one of spontaneous love and gratefulness, one of humility and compassion. Our days become filled with awe and wonder at the sheer gratuity of God. Then we obey less out of fear and more out of love (1 John 4:18, John 14:15). Then we can become merciful just as the Father is merciful (Luke 6:36) and reject self-righteousness and looking at others with contempt (Luke 18:9, Matt. 7:1). Then every day is a Thanksgiving and our lives exclaim, “Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, his mercy endures forever” (Ps. 118:1).

David Hajduk received his Ph.D. in Theology from Maryvale Institute in Birmingham, England, and wrote his dissertation on the thought of St. John Paul II. He is a teacher, speaker, pastoral minister, and award-winning author of God’s Plan for You: Life, Love, Marriage and Sex (Pauline Books & Media, 2006, 2018), a book for teens on the Theology of the Body. David is the Director of Theology for Array of Hope.

Love, Obedience, and Absurdity

St. Augustine preached, “Love and do what you will.” Augustine’s meaning, however, can be misunderstood. He wasn’t saying that any action done with a feeling of affection or tenderness is by virtue of that motivation ipso facto “loving.” After all, this is the same Augustine who stated, “What is not loved in its own right is not loved,” making clear that love is “disinterested” and focused solely on the true good of the one loved. In fact, one of the main points of the sermon from which our opening words come was that certain actions which appear unloving, like a parent disciplining his or her child, actually are expressions of love. And such actions may require doing things that are displeasing to the one loved and don’t make anyone feel very good at all.

In today’s culture, there are many misconceptions about what love is and about what is truly “loving.” One major misconception is that love is equated with feelings. A love that is reduced to feelings isn’t love at all, but descends into subjectivism. This is why love requires truth. Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI wrote: “Truth is the light that gives meaning and value to charity… Without truth, charity degenerates into sentimentality. Love becomes an empty shell, to be filled in an arbitrary way. In a culture without truth, this is the fatal risk facing love. It falls prey to contingent subjective emotions and opinions, the word ‘love’ is abused and distorted, to the point where it comes to mean the opposite” (Caritas in Veritate, no. 3). There is a reason why St. Paul wrote that love “rejoices with the truth” (1 Corinth. 13:6), and why St. John exhorts us to love “in deed and in truth” (1 John 3:18).

Now, this doesn’t mean that love has nothing to do with feelings. In fact, in his pre-papal work Love and Responsibility, St. John Paul II states that feelings of love are based in attraction (which regards the other person as a good) and in desire (which longs for the other person as a good which you lack). Attraction, desire, and the feelings to which they give rise are “essential aspects of love as a whole” and are “indeed love.” Yet, they are a love that is incomplete. As St. John Paul II wrote, “It is not enough to long for a person as a good for oneself, one must also, and above all, long for that person’s good.” This is the “purest form of love”: to will the good for a person and to desire their full flourishing. This is the only love that affirms a person’s dignity and inherent value. Anything less is ultimately self-centered and egoistic, and poses a danger to love itself.

Clearly, knowing the truth about what is good is a prerequisite for willing it. Without reference to the truth about “the good,” love “falls prey to contingent subjective emotions and opinions” and has little to do with the good of the person, or human dignity, or human rights for that matter. And the truth about “the good” is inseparable from the truth about “the person.” You can only know what is truly good for a person (and love him or her by willing it) if you have a correct understanding of what the human person is.

St. John Paul II was fond of quoting this line from Vatican II’s Pastoral Constitution on the Church in the Modern World (Gaudium et Spes): “Christ… fully reveals man to man himself and makes his supreme calling clear… He Who is “the image of the invisible God” (Col. 1:15), is Himself the perfect man” (no. 22).  The truth about the human person, his nature and vocation, is found in the humanity of Jesus Christ! And the truth about what is good for the person (and what isn’t) is revealed in His commandments! The one who loves is the one who holds to His commandments and keeps them (Jn. 14:21). And so, if we are going to love we must first obey Jesus’ word (Jn.  14:23). 

The word “obedience” comes from the Latin ob audire, which means “to hear or listen to.” Obeying begins with hearing, with listening. Thus, obeying Jesus means listening to him who is the Beloved Son to learn how to be the beloved of God (see Mk. 9:7). Interestingly, the word “absurd” derives from the Latin surdus, which means to be deaf. The absurd person will not listen. The absurd person makes him or herself deaf. The absurd person will not obey.  The Proto-Indo European root of surdus refers to “ringing.” Absurd people only hear themselves and the sound of their own point of view ringing in their heads, even if it makes no logical sense or defies common sense. And it would seem to me there is a real deficit of logic and common sense these days.

When we obey, we not only hear, but we see. We will see God, for Jesus will reveal himself to us: “Whoever holds to my commandments and keeps them is the one who loves me… and I shall love him and reveal myself to him.” (John 14:21).  And it is only in Jesus, the Beloved Son, Love incarnate, who is the Truth, that we can know true love, learn what it means to be and to live as God’s beloved, and be set free from a life of absurdity.

David C. Hajduk, Ph.D. has over thirty years of experience in religious education and pastoral ministry, including youth, family life, and pro-life ministries. David did his doctoral work in Theology at Maryvale Institute in Birmingham, England, and wrote his dissertation on the thought of St. John Paul II. Since 1998, David has been a member of the Theology Department at Delbarton School in Morristown, New Jersey, and since 2002 has been the Director of Mission and Ministry. David also has served as an Adjunct Professor of Moral Theology at Immaculate Conception Seminary School of Theology at Seton Hall University since 2008. He is the Theological Programming Director for Array of Hope, a ministry in service of the “New Evangelization” that shares the beauty and truth of the Catholic faith through high quality media and events that are current, relevant, and engaging.